


Quadrilha

by mols



Series: Literal Oneshots [5]
Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, Jealousy, M/M, POV Eugene Roe, POV First Person, Unrequited Love, bandofbrothersweek, day 6: angst, former wintersroe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 16:13:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9910703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mols/pseuds/mols
Summary: Dick and Eugene break up just before Bastogne and so Gene needs to deal with it, alone.





	

It didn’t last much. And how would it? We are in the middle of a war, we are in the middle of an extremely cold hell, particularly. I am a soldier and he, an officer, a Captain. 

Still. 

Still I miss his arms around me, the comfort of his body heat against my back. I remember it enough to miss it. I remember how relieved, although guilty, I would feel after a battle and several men dying between my arms. 

Dick Winters, that is, Captain Dick Winters seems a distant man for a lot of the new kids, but Dick has always been there for them, and for me.

Pulling my legs against my chest, I try to heat myself up myself. I try to convey me what he used to convey me - when he could, of course. I still remember the rusky sound of his voice over my ear, the hot breathe heating up my face after a shiver or two all over my body. How hot his kiss would be against my scalp side. His arms against mine in our thin uniforms which convey as much heat as it could - and it wasn’t all that much. The body heat was better, especially for being Dick’s body heat nonetheless.

Looking up from my foxhole, I can quite fathom where he is, with Nixon. Shoulder to shoulder, as always. Nixon has the man back full time now since we had broken up. Back then I knew Nixon felt the same and it was always a problem for me. I didn’t want him to feel hurt because of my actions, supposedly stealing his Captain from him. Now, though, I can’t stop a silly thought that he should have the same consideration - although, being honest with myself, I didn’t have the consideration enough to just deny Dick’s approaches.

I swallow thickly observing them. I can imagine Dick laughing at one of Nixon’s jokes with as much happiness as a man can have in a place like this. I can imagine those dark blues eyes shining as he looked at Nixon as if he were the best thing in the world and....I need to admit to myself, maybe Nixon is the best thing in Dick Winters’ world. Maybe, Dick has always belonged there, with him. Even though, I feel hurt at the thought, I understand how it’s. I understand because I was in Lewis Nixon’s position not much time ago.

Then I look down, tired of torturing myself thinking of them, together. There’s no reason why I should watch them while I envious Nix and so watching them just hurt myself. I wrap my arms tightly around my legs. It’s no time to be heart broken when there is a war going on and they are freezing in this hellhole of a place. I close my eyes and think about home. I remember my grandma and my parents. I miss them so much. I miss everything about home, probably every man does. But everything seems to be overwhelming these days.

“Gene?” Babe asks and I snap my eyes open.

“What?” I answer, tired.

“Are you alright?” The boy asks me, worried. He doesn’t try to hide his worries.

“Yeah,” I say without conviction.

He keep looking at me for a while, but I avoid his eyes.

The day is so strangely quiet. No bombs, no shouts, no screams for medic. I should be happy, to have a time for rest - although the cold is too much for any real rest.

“Are you sure?” Babe asks again.

I nod again. I don’t need someone to watch me and my misery.

“It’s alright, Babe, I am gonna get up in a second...” I say, but I don’t move. I don’t want to move.

There the cold had already made my body lax and to be honest, I was just waiting for my mind to be as lax.

I realize after a time that Babe’s sitting beside me in my foxhole. There’s no much space, but I don’t mind. The body heat is good. It’s something.

“Gonna make you company, then,” Babe says.

And I turn my head to him and a smile a little:

“Alright.”

He just nods and I get slowly near him. Maybe that’s what I need. I don’t know how to cure how I feel but at least now I can suffer my sorrows besides the hot body of a fellow who cares about me.

**Author's Note:**

> Quadrilha is a poem by Carlos Drummond de Andrade in which every person cited loved someone who didn't love them back.
> 
> "João amava Teresa que amava Raimundo  
> que amava Maria que amava Joaquim que amava Lili  
> que não amava ninguém.  
> João foi pra os Estados Unidos, Teresa para o convento,  
> Raimundo morreu de desastre, Maria ficou para tia,  
> Joaquim suicidou-se e Lili casou com J. Pinto Fernandes  
> que não tinha entrado na história."
> 
> "João loved Teresa who loved Raimundo  
> who loved Maria who loved Joaquim who loved Lily  
> who loved nobody.  
> João went to the USA, Teresa went to the Monastery  
> Raimundo died in a disaster, Maria didn't marry,  
> Joaquim killed himself and Lily got married to J. Pinto Fernandes  
> who hadn't been in the story."


End file.
